Claire fiddles with a napkin, folding and unfolding it, while telling me the story of Her and Food. \u00a0\u201cI guess you could say I was raised on gluten, mostly out of boxes. \u00a0Mac-and-cheese, cereal, Beef Stroganoff. And- ooh . . . pizza. At least once a week.\u201d \u00a0Claire\u2019s story is not unusual. \u00a0Being in her thirties means that her own mom was raised in the advent of the microwave and the fast food chain, when suddenly convenience took priority over healthfulness. \u00a0Claire\u2019s mom \u2013 a busy woman raising three children while working full time \u2013 definitely sought out convenience. \u00a0\u201cThere were lots of \u2018fend for yourself\u2019 nights,\u201d says Claire, \u201cThere were the nights of cereal. \u00a0You know how that goes \u2013 the quantities of milk and cereal never quite match up. So you just keep eating more of it\u201d. \u00a0She grins.<\/p>\n

Gluten and gluttony may have ruled at home, but not in the place where Claire spent a majority of her other hours \u2013 the ballet studio. \u00a0\u201cIt was competitive. \u00a0Not just, you know, as far as who was the better dancer. \u00a0But for who was the thinnest. \u00a0We knew who had the longest limbs. \u00a0The smallest thighs. \u00a0We knew, literally, each other\u2019s waistlines in inches.\u201d \u00a0Claire says that during her actual dancing years, she managed to escape the trappings of an eating disorder. \u00a0She credits this not to a well adjusted psyche, but to an incredibly fast metabolism. \u00a0\u201cThen around the age of 20 something switched. \u00a0Not just my metabolism, but life\u201d. \u00a0Claire had quit dancing. \u00a0She says she floundered around for a while, looking for a way to expend all that excess energy. \u00a0She tried rock climbing (her strong dancer\u2019s toes came in handy), writing (\u201cevery girl has her Sandra Cisnero\u2019s phase, right?\u201d she asks), and traveling. \u00a0\u201cTravel was a great distraction. \u00a0So great that I didn\u2019t even notice as I gained twenty pounds.\u201d \u00a0She\u2019d been living off the loaves of bread at restaurants where she bussed tables, and the \u201cmost amazing yet also terrible\u201d pink, frosted, sugar cookies found at convenience stores everywhere. \u00a0\u201cThat bread and those cookies. \u00a0I could eat them endlessly. \u00a0Addictively. \u00a0They tasted so good but made me feel terrible. \u00a0And then, you know, there was the twenty pounds . . . which I finally noticed one day when I looked in the mirror.\u201d<\/p>\n

Claire started running- first with an inhaler for her asthma, then eventually without. \u00a0Initially every other block \u2013 then for miles straight. \u00a0She shed pounds. \u00a0She felt great. \u00a0She was eating mostly fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and gluten-free grains. \u00a0\u201cI didn\u2019t know anything about being gluten-free back then. \u00a0I\u2019d never even heard the word \u2018gluten\u2019. \u00a0It just so happened that\u2019s what my body wanted.\u201d \u00a0Then one night, Claire fell off the deep end. \u00a0She made a carrot cake for her and her roommates. \u00a0She carefully trimmed around the edges of the rectangular cake, shaping it into a perfect oval. \u00a0She began to eat the extra bits. \u00a0She figured those would be even better with a little bit of cream cheese frosting. Sort of like the milk and cereal conundrum, one called for more of the other. \u00a0She ate that way \u2013 cake, frosting, cake, frosting \u2013 until her stomach was large and sore. \u00a0And then she did something she\u2019d heard from the stall of a ballet studio bathroom, but had never personally done before. \u00a0She made herself throw up.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was like I\u2019d found this great secret. \u00a0There was a way to gorge on food the way I used to, but not be stuck with it\u201d. \u00a0Claire still ran a lot and ate well in front of others, but back at home, late at night, was another story: bread, butter, cinammon, sugar; vanilla ice cream with melted peanut butter; cereal and milk, milk and cereal. \u00a0\u201cThis was seriously how I ate growing up. \u00a0And not just me, but my mom and sister, too. \u00a0Emotional eating. \u00a0That wasn\u2019t even, like, something we were in denial of.\u201d \u00a0Claire says she figured this would be a short-lived phase, like what she\u2019d seen in after school specials or the \u201cIt Happened to Me\u201d section of 17 Magazine. \u00a0But then all of a sudden it was eleven years later, and the eating disorder was still there, bigger and badder than ever. \u00a0\u201cI basically destroyed my health. \u00a0Bulimia led to ulcers, to throwing up blood, to acid reflux, to an electrolyte imbalance. \u00a0Then, at a certain point, throwing up isn\u2019t enough. \u00a0You turn to laxatives and diuretics. \u00a0You dabble in drugs a bit\u2026cocaine, amphetamines.\u201d \u00a0Claire takes a moment to explain that she hasn\u2019t touched drugs in a long while. \u00a0She says it was mostly just one summer. \u00a0She says it shows how much food had taken control of her life. \u00a0\u201cNever, ever, ever would I have thought I\u2019d touch drugs. \u00a0I was so against it. \u00a0I was the good kid. \u00a0I took great care of my health. \u00a0I was the dancer. \u00a0The runner. \u00a0Then all of a sudden I was just the girl who wanted to be thin.\u201d<\/p>\n

There were a few times when she did manage to get really, really, thin. \u00a0This was usually when there was some kind of impending event. \u00a0Like a Christmas when all her family would be back in town. \u00a0Or her sister\u2019s wedding. \u00a0Or . . . her own wedding. \u00a0\u201cI was a little confused on my wedding day. \u00a0That\u2019s the day everyone\u2019s supposed to tell you how beautiful you are. \u00a0No one was telling me that. \u00a0Now I look back on the pictures and I know why.\u201d \u00a0We\u2019re sitting at Claire\u2019s laptop and she\u2019s able to pull up one of her wedding photos. \u00a0There she is, thin as a wisp \u2013 her strapless dress is lovely but barely hanging on. \u00a0Her hipbones make sharp slices of the sequined chiffon. \u00a0Her chest bones are all lines and edges. \u00a0Her arms are like something out of the third world, like from somewhere where you can\u2019t get to food no matter how hard you try. \u00a0She is very clearly starving.<\/p>\n

After her wedding, with the pressure off, Claire strove to eat more healthfully. \u00a0She kept a food journal with the goal of eating at least 1200 calories a day. \u00a0Some days she ate lots less, sometimes more. \u00a0She looked for patterns. \u00a0She was well aware that days of fruits, grains, and meats were better. \u00a0She felt comfortable in her body and calm in her mind. \u00a0Days of pastries and cereal were different. \u00a0Her stomach immediately felt heavy with pain.\u00a0 Her face puffed. \u00a0Her skin hurt. \u00a0Even if she hadn\u2019t been binging, even if she\u2019d had just one-half muffin or a triangle of a sandwich, it certainly felt like more. \u00a0After years and years of the binge-purge cycle, she could think of no other response to the physical pain than to purge. \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s a slippery slope. \u00a0At first you\u2019re in control. \u00a0You\u2019re able to stop yourself. \u00a0You can look at your food journal and know, for a fact, you have eaten healthfully. \u00a0You\u2019ve eaten just one muffin, not ten. \u00a0But when your body feels like it\u2019s binged, your eating-disordered brain says, \u2018well, might as well just go for it\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n

The connection between eating disorders and celiac disease or gluten intolerance is well known and well documented.\u00a0 Claire\u2019s food diary is not unique.\u00a0 Studies with bulimic patients reveal classic celiac symptoms not only when the eating disorder is active, but even after recovery.\u00a0 Patients describe the same thing as Claire \u2013 leaving the table feeling quite comfortable, but then experiencing abdominal distention and discomfort to where they can only relieve themselves by purging.\u00a0 While food diaries show very clearly that the symptoms only occur after meals with gluten, they will be told by doctors that this is entirely psychological.\u00a0 Rather than being tested for celiac disease (which bulimia is a well recognized symptom of) these patients will be diagnosed as having psychological disorders.<\/em><\/p>\n

Claire fell heavily back into a phase of bulimia. \u00a0She was binging and purging up to three times per day, all unbeknownst to her husband. \u00a0\u201cYou get good at hiding it. \u00a0There are tricks\u201d. \u00a0But then the gig was up; \u00a0Claire doubled over in the bathroom at work one day, vomiting large amounts of blood. \u00a0She was rushed to the doctor, who prescribed her Aciphex for a bleeding ulcer. \u00a0\u201cHe knew of my long battle with bulimia. \u00a0I even asked him, \u2018have I done this to myself?\u2019 \u00a0He told me I hadn\u2019t. \u00a0He said it was just an ulcer\u2026 just an ulcer\u201d.<\/p>\n

The Aciphex took away some of the burning pain in Claire\u2019s stomach and throat, but wreaked havoc on her digestive system. \u00a0\u201cWhile on the medication, I had severe diarrhea.\u00a0 Food ran through me. \u00a0After I was off of it, I could go days without a bowel movement. \u00a0My stomach felt like it had a pound of bricks in it\u201d. \u00a0One other result of the Aciphex incident? \u00a0Her husband was now in-the-know. \u00a0\u201cThe eating disorder was no longer my problem. \u00a0It was ours. \u00a0I had to be honest with myself, and honest with him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ulcers are in fact a symptom of long-term bulimia, the result of excess acids in the stomach.\u00a0 In other patients, ulcers can be a common misdiagnosis for celiac disease.\u00a0 The two can mimic each other very closely, and doctors are often more aware of ulcers as an explanation for the burning and discomfort that follows eating.\u00a0 Instead of testing for celiac disease or gluten intolerance, strong medications such as Aciphex will be prescribed, and this may only exacerbate the underlying problem.\u00a0 In Claire\u2019s case, the combination of medication, drug use, and poor diet likely wreaked havoc on her digestive system.\u00a0 Where some people are born with the propensity toward celiac disease, others may \u201cacquire\u201d it.\u00a0 Drugs (prescription or illicit) and poor diet can damage the intestinal villi, flattening it to where an inflammatory response will be had upon eating gluten.\u00a0 Whether Claire was born with the gene for celiac disease or she triggered the condition along the way is a mystery.\u00a0 But the result is the same, and painful.<\/em><\/p>\n

Claire launched back into another attempt at healthy eating. \u00a0She kept up with her food journal. \u00a0She avoided those \u201ctrigger\u201d foods. \u00a0\u201cMy trigger foods are, by the way, anything gluten. \u00a0Cookies, muffins, bread, cereal. \u00a0I started to realize it wasn\u2019t just because I love those foods. \u00a0Actually, I no longer loved them at all. \u00a0I hated them. \u00a0They were killing me\u201d. \u00a0It seemed though, that all foods were killing her. \u00a0\u201cEverything I eat makes me feel awful. \u00a0Everything. \u00a0It is very frustrating. \u00a0It\u2019s like, here I am . . . I\u2019m ready to eat well. \u00a0I\u2019m ready to eat for hunger, instead of emotions. \u00a0I\u2019m ready to sit down with people three times a day and talk over food, instead of hiding in my room alone with it. \u00a0But everything, everything, leaves my stomach feeling twisted and huge. \u00a0One bite feels like five hundred. \u00a0My skin itches and burns. \u00a0I am gaining weight no matter what I eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

So there we have it. \u00a0Claire\u2019s reason for joining in on the 6 week long, gluten-free challenge. \u00a0She feels like she\u2019s been eating \u201cmostly gluten-free already\u201d but we take a look through her cupboards to see how true this is. \u00a0Her wheat-free, Barbara\u2019s Bakery Puffins are not gluten-free; same with the Newman\u2019s Fig Newtons. \u00a0We talk about the difference between wheat-free and gluten-free foods. \u00a0It\u2019s not just that there is a risk of cross-contamination- these products actually contain gluten. \u00a0They are made with barley, or oats. \u00a0Same goes for the Teeccino she\u2019s been drinking as an alternative to coffee. \u00a0Teeccino, tasty and low-acid though it may be, is made with barley. \u00a0As for cross-contamination \u2013 there is plenty of risk for that in Claire\u2019s cupboards.\u00a0 There are cans of perfectly good food that has been \u201cprocessed on machinery shared with wheat and gluten\u201d. \u00a0We plop cans of garbanzo beans, black beans, and vegetable soup in a box, then label it \u201cfood bank\u201d.<\/p>\n

Next we make a shopping list of good alternatives. \u00a0There are plenty of cereals that are clearly labeled \u201cgluten-free\u201d. \u00a0Same goes for cookies and crackers. \u00a0As for the Teeccino, Claire has been drinking it out of concern for her sensitive stomach. \u00a0We place better alternatives on her grocery list: New Orleans style coffee (low acid and with a nutty taste leant from Chicory) or black licorice tea (soothing on the stomach, plus rich enough to please most coffee drinkers).<\/p>\n

Greeks used black licorice as a thirst quencher and also to get relief from swelling that is caused by water retention.\u00a0 The anti inflammatory properties of licorice act on the tissues, similar to cortisone, but without the side effects.\u00a0 Licorice is prescribed by herbalists, naturopaths, and dieticians for treating and avoiding stomach ulcers.\u00a0 When consumed before meals on a regular basis, licorice can heal existing ulcers at a 91% success rate.\u00a0 The herb also acts as a protective stomach lining and maintains stomach acid levels.\u00a0 For anyone who is newly gluten-free and still struggling with stomach pain and\/or inflammation, licorice can provide great relief.<\/em><\/p>\n

The remainder of Claire\u2019s shopping list will remain unchanged, she\u2019ll just know to read the back label more carefully from here on out.<\/p>\n

Weeks 1 through 3<\/strong>
\nBy the end of the third week, Claire and I check back in with each other.\u00a0 She says she is feeling better, and it\u2019s apparent to the eye; her skin is brighter, she looks more energetic. She says that while still dealing with some swelling and weight fluctuation, her stomach swelling has gone down and her stomach no longer distends after eating.\u00a0\u00a0 She does, however, continue to experience intestinal pain and occasional constipation.\u00a0 Because of how sure she is that all gluten has been removed from her diet, we talk about the possibility of maybe removing dairy for the remaining three weeks of the challenge.\u00a0 \u201cAs much as I love, love, love, cheese,\u201d says Claire, \u201cI\u2019m pretty sure I could do it.\u00a0 I mean, at this point, I would do just about anything to feel better.\u00a0 I already feel so much better!\u00a0 But the thought of feeling \u2018normal\u2019 again?\u00a0 That is very exciting.\u201d<\/p>\n

On a psychological level, Claire says that sticking to a gluten-free diet has been very liberating.\u00a0 \u201cAs someone with a long history of eating disorders, \u2018rules\u2019 obviously make me feel safe.\u00a0 But in the past, the rules have always been very limiting, and unhealthy.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been about numbers.\u00a0 Like, no more than 400 calories in a day.\u00a0 Or it\u2019s been about food groups; only vegetables, or only fruit, or only\u2026coffee.\u00a0 Going gluten-free is so different; I feel safe \u2013 I feel like the rules are concrete.\u00a0 But I also feel like I\u2019m nurturing myself \u2013 I\u2019m allowing myself to eat with more freedom and less anxiety\u201d.\u00a0 She drums her fingers on the table top.\u00a0 \u201cHow did it take so long to get here?\u201d<\/p>\n

Weeks 3 through 6<\/strong>
\nWe end Claire\u2019s challenge at Market of Choice in Corvallis, where gluten-free items are clearly marked on the shelves and we can shop easily.\u00a0 With a handful of snacks and two cups of tea, we settle ourselves into a corner table.\u00a0 \u201cWell,\u201d says Claire with a smile, \u201csix weeks done\u201d.\u00a0 She says this is the beginning of something great for her: a chance to restore her health.\u00a0 \u201cMy body feels SO much better.\u00a0 The exhaustion is gone.\u00a0 Food no longer feels like poison.\u00a0 After cutting out dairy, my swelling and intestinal pain has all but disappeared \u201d. \u00a0Perhaps greatest of all, Claire says she has not binged on food for the last two and a half weeks.\u00a0 \u201cThat is huge for me \u2013 HUGE!\u00a0 Maybe two and a half weeks won\u2019t sound like a lot to everyone else, but for me . . . it is.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about an eleven year battle with food here.\u00a0 To go that long eating regular portions feels like . . . freedom\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Claire fiddles with a napkin, folding and unfolding it, while telling me the story of Her and Food. \u00a0\u201cI guess you could say I was raised on gluten, mostly out of boxes. \u00a0Mac-and-cheese, cereal, Beef Stroganoff. And- ooh . . . pizza. At least once a week.\u201d \u00a0Claire\u2019s story is not unusual. \u00a0Being in her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":798,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-stories"],"yoast_head":"\n